The first step to fulfillment is? or Idealism gone wrong

    I have to confess I am an idealist, especially when it comes walking in everything God has for my relationships and my life.  Many times this is a beautiful thing and makes me someone who is able to see things as they should be and then tenaciously move towards that fulfillment.   But (and sometimes it can be a big but) there are a few pitfalls like when my idealism is flowing from the flesh and starts to try to get in there and make something what I think it should be.  
     Idealism in the flesh can lead you to resentment and blaming.  Resentment and blaming especially of those you love most is a very stinky part of the flesh.  Resentment and blaming are warning signals that somewhere your fulfillment and idealism has gotten out of Jesus and set into something happening that you think needs to happen.  Heres a freebie comparison and discontentment are also warning signs. 
     Recently, after coming up for air I began to realize that the last six months had been a little taxing, from my perspective especially on me.  There are those times in every family where unexpected things happen that means that one of you has to step in and take up the slack.  Maybe something like your hubby by no fault of his own having to go through not one but two shoulder surgeries within months of each other.  Not to mention several other happenings that meant that I needed to fill in the blanks.  
     All that to say, I began to realize that I was resenting and not enjoying parts of my life. My fleshly idealistic radar began to go off and say your life is not as fulfilled as it should be.  Where is time for your heart, your dreams and your vision.  I was beginning to get stuck in the place of resentment and so I took sometime to process.
      I needed to slow down and start with step one.  Let me tell you I was totally missing step one and without step one there was no step two just mindless circles of resentment and dissatisfaction. 
         What in the world is step one?   Well here it is.  I have to slow down and realize that the things that I think I need and want even if given will not fulfill me.    If my fulfillment, peace, joy and happiness continued to hinge on the things I thought needed to change then I was never going to get out.  I had to lay down whatever I thought needed to change and count it loss  in comparison to the surpassing value of knowing Jesus.  
       What if I never get enough time for myself, my ministry, my vision, my heart does that dictate my joy or Gods ability to work with where I am?    Trying to find my fulfillment in outer circumstances was like trying to pick bad fruit off of a tree whose root system was not in good soil.  I need to back up and get my roots in Jesus again and then assess the situation.    
     If you don't apply step one and continue to apply it then you will fail miserably at accepting and changing your life to the end God has.  Jesus you are my fulfillment, my rest, and my peace teach me to feast on you and from that place allow you to shape my life to its richest place in this season.


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